Your Birth Day - Dear Lentil,

Dear Lentil,
We had a party on your birth day. Your entry into this world was in a room filled with family and friends who gathered from all over despite the lack of notice. You were born exactly a month early -- after 36-hours of on-and-off labor.

First the facts:

• You were born at 3:24pm on Saturday, August 23, 2008 (your due date was September 23).

• You were delivered naturally. Your mama labored without any drugs. Your papa stayed awake and alert through it all (despite what your mama will tell you). Your brother Max watched part of the labor and came to see you soon after your birth.

• You weighed in at 6 lbs 11oz and measured 18 1/4 inches. Initially there were worries that you had a respiratory issue. However, they took you to the NIC unit for fewer than 10 minutes before declaring you fine.

• You came home from the hospital on Monday. You wore the same outfit that your papa, two uncles and brother Max wore when they came home from the hospital. The yellow knitted outfit was made by your great grandmother. Your grandma and Uncle Kenny were at the house waiting to greet you.

Now the story:
Your mama woke me up about 3am Friday morning to tell me she thought this was the day you were going to be born. I convinced her to go back to sleep. After all: you weren't expected for a month, your mama had contractions a few weeks prior that were determined to be caused by dehydration and your papa hates to wake up.

We soon realized that we were not going to get any sleep. We spent the next few hours timing contractions and figuring out what to do. Eventually we called the midwife office and were told to come into the office when they opened at 9am. We felt we could safely wait until then. We'd drop your brother Max at school at 9am and continue on to the midwife's office. From there? We weren't sure.

The midwife confirmed that these contractions were real but that birth wasn't necessarily imminent. She did tell us we would most likely be having a baby sometime within the next week. She didn't feel your mama was in full labor and advised us to go home and rest. Your mama followed orders. I went to work.


I picked your brother up from school at 4pm and drove him around until
he fell asleep. I carried him inside, put him asleep and then went upstairs to take a nap myself. I was exhausted.

Act 2 began about 8pm Friday when your mama woke me up from that nap and announced that the baby was ready to be born. She was calm but direct. We created a plan. We'd get Max to sleep, have your Aunt Norma come by to stay with him while we went to the hospital. We also called our friend Maria, a former massage therapist who had agreed to be our dullah.

We got to the hospital about 11pm. Maria and her husband Jeff met us in the lobby soon after. We were taken to our room and your mama was checked by the midwife. At first she was ready to send us home again. Your mama said she'd be more comfortable staying in the hospital overnight -- partly so as not to disturb your brother.

At about 5am the midwife checked your progress again and at first determined we should go home for awhile. After further questioning from your mother, the midwife rechecked and decided your mama was right. From here on it was a waiting game. I even started asking everyone remotely connected to the birth (your mama, the nurses, the midwifes, anyone who called) for their prediction. (Funny thing: you were a month early but you waited long past all of our predictions to make your debut.)

Act 3 began when the midwife officially admitted us to the hospital. We had the usual protocol of nurses asking questions, doctors giving us the What ifs and the insurance people getting forms signed. I called Chicago to tell your Uncle McGee and Grandma that if they wanted to be here they better start moving. Uncle Kenny had taken Aunt Norma's place watching your brother Max. At a reasonable hour, we called Aunt Norma to take over for Kenny so that she and cousins Brandon & Nicolas could entertain Max.

Maria and Jeff came back about 9am. Maria was going to be the dullah. Jeff at this point was just tagging along. "I'm staying until someone kicks me out," he said both informing us he would do anything we needed and giving us our last opportunity to make this birth private.

Aunts Vanessa and Aunt Alma arrived about noon. The Chicago Gang plus Uncle Kenny came in about 1:30pm. Soon after Norma and all the boys arrived. At some point everyone but Brandon & Nicolas made an appearance during labor. Maria, Jeff and Aunts Alma and Vanessa stayed for the whole thing. Your brother Max came into the room for awhile. After 10 minutes or so he motioned that he wanted out.

Somewhere during this stage I put my head down on the hospital bed and gave positive reinforcement to your mama. She says I fell asleep. I think I just wanted to fall asleep.

Besides being tired, I also remember being cold. I kept wrapping myself up in blankets. Perhaps I was having sympathy symptoms.

Act four was full labor. This began about 1pm. This is when the midwifes settled in, your mama pushed, sweated and told me to stop singing (I have no idea what or why I was singing).

The team was amazing. Without any planning everyone took on a role and played their part perfectly. Maria massaged shoulders, back and head. Jeff rubbed the feet. I had one arm. Your Aunts took their place around the bed. The midwifes Tonya and a student calmly directed the whole thing without interrupting the energy in the room. And Nurse Lauren played coach and cheer leader.

I remember your Grandma and Uncles Kenny and McGee walking in around 1:30pm. They were excited but quickly left the room. (I don't think they realized this was an open party). Uncle Kenny came back later and stayed long enough to realize how amazing the birth process is and how amazing your mama was during the whole process.

Labor lasted on and off for 36 hours, from the time she woke me up at Friday at3am to the time you were born Saturday at 3:24pm. Your mama was incredible. Without any sleep or anything to eat during most of that time, she exerted what seemed to be equal to two marathons. She pushed. She endured pain. She did it all without any medicines and without any swearing.

I fought through my sympathy symptoms and surprised myself by watching the whole thing.

I saw the whole thing but I still don't know how it all worked. I remember thinking that the midwife was going to call the whole thing off any moment. I felt this was taking too long something must be wrong. But the midwifes were totally calm. There was no panic. They kept a straight face. When they did say something it was only that the baby was fine and seemed happy, which they could tell by monitoring your heartbeat. I know a bit about heart rates and I kept seeing that yours was calm. Their calmness assured me all was okay.

I took my turn rubbing your mama's forehead, rubbing her arm and holding her hand. The closer it came to the finale the more I watched. The first time I saw your head I started to smile. Then I saw that you had hair and I started wondering what you'd look like. Eventually when you came all the way out I relaxed and smiled.

Nurse Lauren was incredible. She kept telling your mama to push and reassuring her that she was doing great and the baby was fine. Eventually she told your mama that it was time to let her baby go. Your mama seemed to take a moment to think about this and then she kicked it into high gear. She had already been working for some 35 hours. But somehow she found another energy.

"Okay team," your mama yelled. "Let's do this."

Twenty minutes or so later, at 3:24pm you came out.

I had told everyone in the room not to say anything about you being a boy or a girl. I wanted the job of making this announcement to your mama and everyone else. I planned on taking you to your mama and telling her quietly.

However, my seeing you for the first time made forget all about my plan and my speech. When you were born I was excited and relieved. Without thinking and without caring about anybody else I simply looked at you and said "It's a boy."

I never cared if you were to be a boy or a girl. During the pregnancy I could picture my life either way. When you were born I had flashbacks and flashforwards. I thought about my childhood with brothers and then I'd think about you and Max creating this magical brother bond. Two boys. You were just born, yet the rest of my life had just fallen into place.

I cut your umbilical cord, held you briefly and showed you to your mama before they took you to be checked. Because you were a month early they worried about all sorts of stuffs. They did detect a bit of a breathing problem at first. They said they'd have to take you to the NIC unit for observation but that it didn't appear to be serious. I walked with you to the outside of NIC unit, up until they wouldn't let me go any further.

Along the way, they wheeled you (I wasn't allowed to carry you in the hallways) past your grandma, uncles and other waiting friends. The nurse stopped long enough for me to tell of your birth. "My father was the second son," I said. "I'm a second son. And now I have a second son.

"Everything is fine," I continued. "They're taking him to be checked. There may be a respiratory issue but they don't think it's serious."

About 10 minutes later, you were suddenly brought back to your mama in the delivery room. It was so sudden that I was still with your grandma and uncles. "They never bring back a baby that fast," Nurse Lauren told us. "He must be fine."

After your mama was attended to, another party started. Everyone came to visit. One of the first was your brother Max. He didn't take long to get next to you and rub our head.

And that's your birth story. It was incredible. It was a party.