Tuesday, December 30, 2008

December 30, 2008 Dear Alex,

Dear Alex,
I shaved my head today as a way to connect to you. You had your head shaved last week because mama believes that a baby should have it done at four months so its hair will grow in thick.

Your mama and I had no idea how hectic our lives would be with two children. Seems like we've barely had time to think and plan since you came along. For obvious reasons, mama has mainly taken care of you. This means my main job has been to take car of Max. Doesn't mean I love you any less -- it's just the way it is.

Lately I've been spending more time with you. Your growing and are alert for longer periods of time without needing to eat. Thus, mama can leave and I can hold you.

I'm learning to make you smile and to understand your moods.

I look forward to getting to know you better.

December 28, 2008 Dear Little Girl,

Dear Little Girl at Monkey Joes,
I was climbing up the stairs to the Big Slide behind Max when you approached me and asked "Are you his grandfather?"

I figured I'd get that question when Max was in high school when I'm in my early- to mid-sixties or perhaps even in Jr. High. But I'm only 46 -- yes, just a couple weeks from 47. And I look darn good for my age if I do say so myself.

I know I'll always be an older parent. But I've pledged to myself, my wife and my kids that I'll stay in shape, eat right and do what I can to be part of their lives for as long as I can.

December 24, 2008 Dear Santa Claus,

Dear Santa Claus,
It's fun to think of you again. This was Alex's first Christmas and the first one Max seemed to understand what it was all about. Max was excited to see you ate some of the snacks we left out and that you left him a note. He, of course, also liked the drum you left.

Just before nap time on Christmas Eve I explained again to Max about Santa and Christmas. As he was falling asleep he said "Santa is coming to my house tonight."

Without really thinking about it I've recreated my childhood Christmas's. All the stuffed animals come out to wait for Santa. Snacks are left. And Santa replies to it all with a note.

I'm going to have to ask my mom why a Jewish family got in the habit of celebrating Santa. And I'd love to know from my dad how he got into leaving reindoor paws in the snow and writing the Santa letters (I do know it wasn't a struggle to make it look like Santa ate the cookies we left out for him).

Last year when Max was a year-and-a-half, it was darn cute to see him just as excited to see the animals out in the living room as it was to see the toy kitchen Santa left him. First he jumped into the animals' lap. Finally he looked across the room at his toy kitchen.

This year Hannuakah and Christmas overlapped. As non-religious as I am, I enjoyed teaching Max to light the candles and say the prayer. By night eight, it was Max who insisted we light the candles before opening presents.

So Santa, thanks for the presents, letters and memories. And thanks for now being back for my kids!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

November 22, 2008 - Dear Alex and Max,

Dear Alex and Max,
Today I got another reminder of how hard parenting is. Max was pushing the buttons on a train set at the Science Center. Another boy ran up to where Max was playing and stood right next to him. It was obvious that the boy wanted to push the buttons. "Let the boy have a turn," I told Max. When Max didn't immediately let the boy push the buttons, I told Max again a little more forcefully. The third time Max walked away.

I did something similar later when another child wanted to play with whatever it was Max had.

I thought about it all and realized what I was doing. I was teaching my son that it wasn't okay to get what he wanted. I also realized that that is one of my personality traits: I don't grab stuff; I wait for others to recognize my stregnths. I also realized how much I don't like this about myself.

I learned something today. Hopefully it'll make me a better dad.