Dear X-Boys, March 19, 2009

Dear X-Boys,
Today I closed the hatchback of my car on Max's hand. In one of those life turned into slow-motion moments, I saw Max's face as I closed the door and there was nothing I could do but look into his eyes and feel terrified about what I was about to do.

Being a parent is an incredible wonderful responsibility that continuously amazes, thrills and scares me. Max has learned to tell me that my job as papa is "to protect me." I promise to do the best I can.

Max's hand was fine (even after I spent much of the next hour at Bongo Java icing the wrong hand).

Yet the incident made me think about all the ways I influence you and all the stuff I want to protect you both from. I frequently have flash forwards of stuff that could happen to you: falls, hit by cars, kidnappings, etc. And in some more reflective moments I think about the mental stuff I want to protect you from as well. I don't need to list all my issues. Let's just say I want to protect you from those too.

March 13, 2009 - Dear X Boys,

Dear X Boys,
Your mom and I talked about lots of stuff before we got married: stuffs about how we wanted to live, how we wanted to raise children and what we wanted to do with our lives.

We knew we wanted you both to have a more creative and better school experience than at least I had.

We just never really expected to be putting our children in full-time, private school as early as three-years old.

However, today we wrote the check, signed the forms thus committing ourselves to sending Max to Montessori school this fall. We're darn excited about it and a bit overwhelmed with the responsibility. We visited two Montessori and one Walforf school before settling on Abintra. We looked at and debated such issues as location, foreign language programs and school diversity. We're not 100% convinced this school or even our decision to send him full-time is the best decision. We do feel good that we made an informed decision.

School bored me. My dad taught me to think through math and logic problems. My mom taught me to explore my creative side. Both taught me to do things myself. The lesson at school was to conform and memorize. I did just enough at school to get my B average. I was bored.

I'd love to feel good about putting you in local public schools. However, the more I look at these schools and the more I hear about this cray No Child Left Behind program, the more commited I am to finding something different for you. Children don't need to take tests and tests.

I know school can be so much more. I had one professor in college and one more recently who taught Spanish that got me excited about learning. They didn't simply lecture, hand us a textbook and give us a test. They challenged me and made it all interesting.

I want you both to be happy reaching your potential.

I want you both to have a life-long interest in learning.

I want you both to follow your own passion.

I want you both to be confident in wha you do and comfortable with your achievementsl.

I watch you both be so excited every day in your play, exploration and learning. I want this excitement to last forever.

I'm not 100% positive this is the right school or right program.

I am 100% pledged to finding what is right.

February 23, 2009 - Dear Alex,

Dear Alex, You've always been described as a happy baby and at six months that's exactly who you are. Every time we went for a prenatal check up, the midwife would check your vital signs and day "this is one happy baby." The day you were born was no different. Mama went through 36 hours of labor and lots of pain and pushing. Through out it all, the midwifes would say "your baby is happy" or "that sure is one happy baby."

Six months later you are still full of smiles. The other day you and I were sleeping next to each other. We seemed to wake up at the same time. And after a quick gathering of our senses, you looked at me and smiled. What could I do but smile right back? Your face glows when you smile.

You're also a big baby. Despite being born a month early and having a mama who is barely 5-feet tall, you're now in the 90+ percentiles on size and weight. You weigh 20 pounds!

As much as we hate to compare you and your brother, you two are so much alike: you're both big, happy, strong boys. We called Max "bam bam" when he was little because he was so strong. You're the same. While Max would pick things up, you seem to push things around and move everywhere. The other day mama said "what other six-month-old boy could wiggle out of his Bumbo chair."


Speaking of your brother, you've also brought out a side of him we never would have known. He's the most passionate, loving big-brother you can imagine. "I love Alex," he says over and over. On his own he goes to hug you and kiss you. Of course, sometimes he's overly anxious to start playing with you. He throws balls to you and talks about playing ping pong and chutes and ladders with you ("You just watch, papa. I play with Alex."). We all look forward to seeing the two of you run around and play your real and made up games.



You've started eating solid foods. Mama has you on the same begininng diet as your brother: organic brown rice cereal, avocados and sweet potatoes. You're a true Bernstein: you gobble it all up! And you're like your brother, you drink from a glass! Max nevre used a sippy cup. And the way you grab the glass to get sips of water we doubt you will either.

You've made our life more hectic and more fun. Admittedly sometimes I'm so tired I just want to run off and spend a couple days alone in a hotel. But then I see you smile or discover something new or hear your brother say something totally silly and I realize how lucky I am to be in a position to be able to spend so much time with my two sons. Happy Half Birthday!