August 8, 2009 Dear X Boys,

Dear X Boys,
I was away from you both for almost a whole week. The time away gave me time to get some stuff done and gave me time to think about all sorts of stuff.

I flew up on Monday morning with you and helped you and mama get settled in at Grandma's. I flew out that night back to Nashville. I have to admit that part of this time away was intended for me to recharge the batteries. As much as I love you both, it's a lot of work juggling being a papa, running the stores and keeping track of all the real estate ventures going on.

Another big part of the week was for me to get a vasectomy. Your mama and I decided that the four of us are a complete family. We talked long before we got married that one or two children would be our limit. We're older parents. We believed then and now that two children is the perfect number. This gives us the time, energy and financial ability to provide for the two of you.

Another intent of the week was to give me time to catch up at work. Your mama and I also decided that we'd spend as much time as we possible could with the two of you. Luckily we both are in a job position that gives us this flexibility. Lately I've been struggling with keeping up at work. Thus, I used much of this week to clear some projects (and lots of papers) off my work desk. The results were positive. However, I missed you both (and your mama) lots.

The time away also gave me plenty of opportunities to reflect. Mostly I thought about how lucky I am to have such a family and such a life. Your mama is an incredible woman who would (and does) sacrifice anything and everything for the two of you. Admittedly there are times when there is some tension between us. However, these moments are limited and mainly caused by
everyday stresses. And the two of you are the best things in my life. When I play baseball with Max or just sit on the floor and play with Alex, I experience a joy that I've never felt. When either of you smiles or laughs I get this shiver and I want to explode and say: "Look at these boys! They're perfect."

Perhaps it was a mistake but the first thing I did when I got back to Nashville and an empty house was watch a documentary about a boy with bipolar disorder who eventually kills himself. I kept thinking of my boys and all the possible bad things that could happen to them. I cried.

And then the next day I had a vasectomy and then I spent the rest of the week thinking, working and sleeping a bit.

I love you boys so much.

I'm glad you'll be home soon.