July 29, 2009 Dear Alex,

Dear Alex,
I fell in love with you tonight.

Of course I've loved you from the start. But just like your brother I needed a moment to hit me over the head to tell me that this little boy is my life.

Tonight you're sick. You got some sort of hive from crawling around on a rug. You were acting a bit strange. You couldn't sleep. You wrestled in mama's arms. You played. You were very uncomfortable. As much as we don't like to give you medicine, we gave you a bit of Benadryl.

Mama and I sat on the couch with you rotating between us. I held you. I looked into your eyes and I saw a look that scared the hell out of me and I knew then that I loved you.

You were absent.

Your charm. Your happy nature. Your curiosity. Everything about you was gone.

"Don't go," I said.

A minute later you were smiling and I breathed a bit easier.

Then I got the look again.

It's 1:46am. You've been in your crib a couple hours. Mama's upstairs asleep.

I'm awake checking on your breathing every so often.

July 8, 2009 Dear X Boys

Dear X Boys,
Don't be in such a hurry to grow up.

I started thinking about that this week. Alex is trying to do everything Max does. And Max is trying to do everything everybody else does. Even more telling, Max said to mama this week "Mama, are you sad that I'm growing up to be a big boy?"

I remember when I was about 12 writing in my journal something like "I want to grow up fast because the world is changing so quickly that I'm afraid I won't be able to do the things I dream of."

Thirty-something years later I'm writing to you both that it's okay to do it all slowly. Enjoy being a kid. These times that nothing is more important than throwing a baseball or learning to climb onto the couch go so fast.

Your mama and I are a bit bewildered about how fast it's all happening. We can barely remember when Alex was a newborn doing nothing but sleeping and eating all day. This doesn't mean we're sad to see you grow and develop. Each time one of you does something new (which is almost every day it seems) is a celebration.

We also dream of the future when you go to school, bring home friends, introduce us to your first girlfriends. Your mama especially sees a bit of each of you in any wonderful young person she meets. "Do you think our boys will be like that?" she'll ask. "Is that the type of girl you see the boys dating?"

Sometimes we question whether we should be sending Max off to full-time school at three-years old. Then we see the wonder in his eyes and the excitement he gets when he learns something new and we feel he's ready. We're not trying to push him to grow up. We're trying to let him be all he can be.

July 5, 2009 - Dear Alex

Dear Alex, It's about time I give you an update of who you are at this point. At 10 months you are a very active, happy and curious boy.

You've started doing what we call talking. While you're playing with something or looking at something you'll start vocalizing while you point, pound or sit still. Your voice will be full of inflections and we feel we can sorta make out what you're trying to tell us or what you're saying to your toys.

Your curiosity takes you everywhere. You pull books from the shelves. You crawl from room to room and under tables and over toys looking for whatever it is you hope to find.


You're very active and strong. You lift and push things that seem way too big for you. You don't sit still often, unless of course it is to push, pull or slap something of interest.

Of course, everything you touch pretty much has to be tasted as well. Thus, by the end of the day there is drool about everywhere.

You also eat lots of food. Edaname, corn on the cob and yogurt with peaches are your current favorites. (And you now have six teeth!)

You've recently started climbing. You pull yourself up on the hassock and then from there unto the couch.

Basically we can't keep our eyes off of you because of how cute you are and because we want to keep you safe!